I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
