You really coming over, don't trick.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
