I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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