I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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