i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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