I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
