I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
