OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
