I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
