shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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