I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
