Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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