Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
