I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
