More tranny stories later!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
