if only i could text you this smell
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
