There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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