do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
