You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
