Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
