Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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