I didn't shave. On purpose
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
