Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize