i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
that is very illegal...i love you.
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