evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize