the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
