Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
