haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
