the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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