you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
