so explain again why im purple
no
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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