Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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