i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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