Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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