We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
