You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
