I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
