Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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