He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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