just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
