Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
