we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
