Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize