oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
