I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
