bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
