his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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