If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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