Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
