K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
