Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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