She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
