Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
