I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
