OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
