if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
