How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
