My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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