You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
