You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
did you just send me my own nude
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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