And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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