Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
